Canadian expat Laurel Robbins encountered similar challenges in Munich. Recently single after a year-long relationship with a German, she headed to an Irish pub with some friends, noticing that no one there was mingling with strangers - even after a couple beers - as they would in North America. For a breath of fresh air, she turned to one of her favourite hobbies: There she found it easier to strike up a conversation with other expats and Germans, both platonically and as potential flames. Yet there was still shaky ground when she found herself on a date with someone from the group.
In North America, it's playful on dates whereas Germans treat it as a job interview. Many Germans' detailed and analytical nature, however, has boded well for online dating, observes Shoup.
It's not impossible: the ups and downs of dating in Germany
They often tend to be more private people who like that it's easy to cautiously get to know someone online first. While every person is different, there is no doubt that dating websites and apps in Germany are booming, with one in five people using one to meet a potential partner in Stephan, 38, a German living in Berlin, turned to okcupid. He found himself in a more difficult landscape than in his 20s, when he met his long-term partner through work and after a few dates decided they were in an exclusive relationship.
With online dating, he has had no problems meeting women, but instead of the third or fourth date evolving into something more serious, it usually ends. Shy about approaching a woman in German or English, Max, 30, turned to the app Tinder to find a partner, contrary to its application as an app for easy hook-ups. Yet in the end he met his girlfriend after a stand-up comedy show. Shoup herself turned to online dating when she did not meet anyone with serious potential in Berlin. In the end she met her dream man - only he lived in Vienna.
Now the two are engaged and set to be married in Hamburg, where Shoup has seen a culture more conducive to serious relationships. Even in cities such as Berlin, she advised Germans and expats alike to get involved with meet-ups, whether cooking or dancing, to meet people with similar interests. The group InterNations is another resource for both expats and internationally minded Germans, and where a handful of people she knows have met their mates.
She also urged singles to give speed dating a shot - even if just for practice making small talk with strangers. Where I'm from [in southern Germany] anyone you meet who is not a student is usually there for the long haul. The double-edged sword of dating a German, observed Robbins, is that they will exhibit honesty from the very beginning to the very end.
The same culture applies to break-ups, said British expat Laura, whose German boyfriend of three years one day told her that he thought their relationship should end. In vivid detail, he explained he was interested in an acquaintance and wanted to see where it would go. She contrasted her own story with that of another friend, who found out her American husband was cheating on her when an alert popped up on her phone when she wasn't in the room. Robbins adds that when it comes to dating, she can always rely on Germans to be honest.
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Get notified about breaking news on The Local. Luigi - 08 Jun I somehow feel the article generalizes too much. Germans like facts and lists? I guess Americans then like burgers and coke, and British are posh and arrogant. Maybe the main problem is trying to judge a person based on superficial stereotypes.
Become a Member or sign-in to leave a comment. Latest headlines Body of missing German tourist found in Australian outback. I know they exist because I see them sitting in the park surrounded by other girls and there a several at work but I'm not one for dipping the pen in the company ink, but when I am out and about, especially 'auf dem Kiez', only the saddest, oldest and ugliest men approach me. I am a 24, have auburn hair and I am content editor for a video gaming website.
It's not impossible: the ups and downs of dating in Germany - The Local
My girlfriends always joke that if carried two beers around with me all the time I would be a guy's perfect package but I just haven't met anyone. My girlfriends always joke that if carried two beers around with me all the time I would be a guy's perfect package. I can't think of any reason why you would have trouble finding a date - you're very pretty.
Maybe it's just where you go that's the problem? Have you tried internet dating?
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Or what about speed dating? I have a 2: Think of all the possibilities for meeting people! I haven't tried internet dating. I must admit I do feel it's stigmatised but if that's the general consensus on this thread then I'll give it a go. Might I suggest okcupid. It's free and has worked great for me.
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I've found like people on there who have become really good friends and I'm currently dating a hamburger I met on there. The stigma isn't nearly what it used to be. I have absolutely no problem telling people I met him or any of my friends online. Ah ahsavage wish you were in Bielefeld or closer, I could have been able to help you. I have a number of single male freinds, in fact no German female mates yet! But I'm un fortunately not single!
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I met these people because of a common interest, in my case I play dance music and most of the DJs happen to be males even in Germany , hence the network of well behaved, good looking, eligible young men that I cannot even date! Maybe you should try and attend events or places where you're more likely to meet people with similar interests?
Would like to add, that I met most of these guys online as well even before I moved to Germany.see url
Though not through dating websites, just an online community for people with same musical orientation. Funnily enough my ex-boyfriend recommended I try okcupid. I know that sounds strange but we are still good friends. The break up was amicable. And I have been toying with the idea. I am very glad to hear of your positive experience with the site.
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I will definitely look into it. With you there Singleinhamburg. With me it's even worse, and I speak English, German and Dutch too with varying levels of flurency. But I'm hiding in my flat, waiting for the dream woman to knock on my door: I have no idea on dating either, so not sure what I'm doing on this thread Join a club, find a bar, and be patient Have you tried your corner Kneipe? I'd suggest going to the Kneipe and buying some beers for the locals that spark your fancy.